This morning I almost had an experience somewhat resembling some semblance of a realization. Of course, it was no true realization as that would require some kind of concerted effort on my part; needless to say, this occurrence happened, which would be cause enough for celebration were I the type of person to revel in celebration, though I am quite possibly the complete opposite of this hypothetically celebratory person. As it is, by now your attention is most certainly waning and your patience is being tried; perhaps you would wish for me to get to the point already, to hurry it along through this drivel and onto the entire reason that I began writing this post. But if you have followed me to here, then I might want to warn you about the content of the realization I almost had this morning, for it will simply reek of anti-climax, lacking utterly in insight and humor or any other basis for which a realization might formulate itself upon.
Ah, but you still resist! Following me to the second paragraph, willing to sit through another grandiose cluster of hooey just to sate your now all-consuming curiosity, for what better piques one's interest than adamant refusal to let loose the object of regard? But surely you must have the feel for this blog as it is, one that is buried neck-deep in fuming heaps of particularly verbose helpings of nothing; knowing this, how can you still push forward with this infatuation you have for some off-handed near-revelation I may have had this morning? After all, you have absolutely no evidence that I had this realization at all. I could be stringing you along, teasing you with hints and prospects of something that may or may not be of any worth for your inspection. Yet this is a gamble that you take, throwing yourself headlong into the intricate web of my trap, well-aware of this trap even as I warn you repeatedly to turn back; and thus, through my uncompromising advice for your better well-being, I manage to convince you to follow through the treacherous potholes of my callous reasoning to the core of my ridiculously ill-conceived and rather cruel trap, to the heart of the revelation I had this morning.
The revelation that I could, quite reasonably, do just this.
Ah, but you still resist! Following me to the second paragraph, willing to sit through another grandiose cluster of hooey just to sate your now all-consuming curiosity, for what better piques one's interest than adamant refusal to let loose the object of regard? But surely you must have the feel for this blog as it is, one that is buried neck-deep in fuming heaps of particularly verbose helpings of nothing; knowing this, how can you still push forward with this infatuation you have for some off-handed near-revelation I may have had this morning? After all, you have absolutely no evidence that I had this realization at all. I could be stringing you along, teasing you with hints and prospects of something that may or may not be of any worth for your inspection. Yet this is a gamble that you take, throwing yourself headlong into the intricate web of my trap, well-aware of this trap even as I warn you repeatedly to turn back; and thus, through my uncompromising advice for your better well-being, I manage to convince you to follow through the treacherous potholes of my callous reasoning to the core of my ridiculously ill-conceived and rather cruel trap, to the heart of the revelation I had this morning.
The revelation that I could, quite reasonably, do just this.
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If you choose to ignore this, then your privileges of the ability to give a shit about anything will be suspended for two weeks. Here's some complementary regret in advance.