What Does It Mean To Be Alive?

It doesn't

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This is here to discourage you from trying. You will not succeed. There is nothing in this for you. Do not go through with a comment, do not go through with contributing to this site; for if you do, you will be inextricably implicated in my whirling mass of ineptitude.

If you choose to ignore this, then your privileges of the ability to give a shit about anything will be suspended for two weeks. Here's some complementary regret in advance.